Colonel Gaddafi bid for Man Utd in doubt on account of him being dead for 6 years

Libyan dictator Colonel Gaddafi’s highly-anticipated bid to take over Manchester United has been cast into doubt today on account of him being dead for more than six years.

Sources from the war-torn Middle Eastern nation had suggested that the ruthless despot was interested in a bid to purchase the Premier League club from the American Glazer family, with a lifelong passion for football believed to be at the root of the bid.

However, revelations emerged this morning that – given his death at the hands of his fellow countrymen in October 2011 – Gaddafi may now be unable to fulfill the requirements of a proposed takeover.

Speaking today, analysts for Bloomberg – who possess prior knowledge of the bid – admitted that while nothing is yet off the table, the unfortunate situation regarding Gaddafi’s death means that any takeover remains unlikely.

“I’ve reviewed takeovers for the best part of three decades, and when it comes to bids like this, death is pretty much the worst thing to happen to an interested party. It’s extremely difficult to negotiate with or hand over control of an entity to someone who is dead. And it’s even harder when that person has been dead for more than half a decade,” said financial expert Jonathan Renard, adding that while he has long given up on making predictions regarding deals such as this, he would be surprised to see it completed.

“There have been plenty of reports about this, and some people remain convinced that Gaddafi – regardless of how dead he in fact is – will come up with the required funds to purchase the club. But I just don’t see it happening. Ignoring all other complexities, being dead is going to severely hamstring his ability to cement his interest in the form of an actual agreement. If he’d only just died, there may be a chance. But he died so long ago I really can’t see it happening. It’s a shame, but it’s hard to deny.”

At press time, Manchester United fans welcomed Gaddafi’s interest, and admitted that they’d prefer a deceased malevolent dictator over a family of living ones.