“It’s political correctness gone stupid,” says Alan Brazil on new rule banning him from eating darts walk-on girls whole

Decrying the ruling as yet another example of how the world is becoming increasingly “mad”, Alan Brazil today hit out at a new Professional Darts Corporation which strictly prohibits him from eating the walk-on girls whole.

Speaking on his Sports Breakfast radio show on talkSPORT, the journalist and former footballer criticised the rule which bans him from consuming the young women in one go as proof of “political correctness gone stupid”.

“I just don’t know what to think anymore, to be honest. Each time something like this happens I think it can’t get any more mad. Where does it end? That’s what I want to know. Where does it end?!” asked Brazil of the controversial new PDC directive which prevents him from swallowing and digesting walk-on girls in one mouthful in a manner similar to that of a crocodile.

“My worry here is the girls themselves, you know? These are all lovely girls, really attractive. How does the PDC know that they don’t like being swallowed whole by someone before dissolving in his stomach acids? Who are the PDC to deprive these beautiful girls of an experience like that?”

If political correctness is not kicked into touch soon, Brazil later warned, regular people would likely be banned from swallowing any of their favourite treats whole, from cats and dogs to common household items like shower curtains and plants.