Category: Olympic Games

“I learned that horse dancing is a sport” – Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney has spoken out amidst widespread criticism of footballers today, insisting that he has learned many lessons from the Olympic Games, most notably that horse dancing is a sport. A host of journalists have hit out at highly-paid Premier…

Authorities break up underground dressage battle on streets of Rio

Brazilian authorities last night busted an underground dressage battle on the streets of Rio de Janeiro. After months of covert operations involving law enforcement officials from 17 countries, the city’s paramilitary police unit, CORE, reportedly detained 14 riders and 10 dancing horses. No…

Three-eyed, extremity-laden fish plays down Rio 2016 pollution fears

Uttering each mumbled syllable in a slower and more pained manner than the last, a three-eyed, human extremity-laden fish today played down fears that the upcoming 2016 Olympics will be unduly effected by pollution in Rio de Janeiro. The 31st Games,…