Tag: Brazil

Three-eyed, extremity-laden fish plays down Rio 2016 pollution fears

Uttering each mumbled syllable in a slower and more pained manner than the last, a three-eyed, human extremity-laden fish today played down fears that the upcoming 2016 Olympics will be unduly effected by pollution in Rio de Janeiro. The 31st Games,…

Chinese Super League club buys nation of Brazil

Chinese club Beijing Guoan has today announced that it has completed the transfer of the country of Brazil for an undisclosed fee ahead of the upcoming Chinese Super League season. Speaking at a press conference today, manager Alberto Zaccheroni welcomed the…

Neymar at centre of fresh controversy over “super weird” haircut

Brazilian forward Neymar is at the centre of a fresh controversy today, while he fights allegations of financial misappropriation, as it emerged that both Spanish and Brazilian investigators are looking into the circumstances surrounding the player’s “weird as shit” haircut,…

Arsenal fans launch campaign to boycott earth’s coastal areas

Further reacting to what they perceive to be ill disciplined and unacceptable behaviour from Diego Costa against their side on Sunday, Arsenal fans have launched a campaign to boycott all coastal areas on earth. Chelsea striker Costa provoked Arsenal centre back…