Tag: Election

Lonely Sepp Blatter celebrates winning imaginary FIFA election

Stepping forward to a pre-prepared podium he himself had set up in his dining room, a lonely and dishevelled Sepp Blatter today celebrated winning an imaginary FIFA presidential election. Banned by football’s governing body for six years for impropriety over a…

Sheikh Salman swears on slaves’ lives that FIFA election will be clean

Insisting that transparency is of paramount importance at such a key stage of proceedings, FIFA presidential candidate Sheikh Salman bin Ibrahim Al Khalifa has sworn on his slaves’ lives that the upcoming elections will be clean. The presidential election for world…

Sheikh Salman criticises FIFA’s “laughable” human rights abuse record

FIFA presidential candidate Sheikh Salman has questioned the football governing body’s human rights abuse record ahead of upcoming elections. With the tension ratcheting up ahead of the February 2016 vote, the Asian Football Confederation president said he felt obliged to draw attention…