Tag: Sepp Blatter

Lonely Sepp Blatter celebrates winning imaginary FIFA election

Stepping forward to a pre-prepared podium he himself had set up in his dining room, a lonely and dishevelled Sepp Blatter today celebrated winning an imaginary FIFA presidential election. Banned by football’s governing body for six years for impropriety over a…

Sheikh Salman criticises FIFA’s “laughable” human rights abuse record

FIFA presidential candidate Sheikh Salman has questioned the football governing body’s human rights abuse record ahead of upcoming elections. With the tension ratcheting up ahead of the February 2016 vote, the Asian Football Confederation president said he felt obliged to draw attention…

FIFA plan “one last bribe” to evade FBI

Saying that if they’re going to go out they want to do it on their own terms, Sepp Blatter and former FIFA right hand man Jerome Valcke have begun assembling a “crack team” of former executives for one last major bribe, according…